Ways to make friends as an adult

It seems like we just moved to Georgia, and we are moving again in November!

This lifestyle (military) requires an adaptable and adventurous spirit- that’s for sure!

People ask me all the time how I feel about moving. I’ll be honest- the first few weeks in a new place are always difficult. My heart is still in the place we came from, and that adjustment can take some time, but I always eventually find joy in my new home.

J and I try to “jump into things.”

What’s unique about this new place?
What does it have to offer that our last city did not?
Where’s the local music and art scene?
Where are the best camping/hiking/outdoors sites?
Where is the best FOOD?

Then there is the issue of making new friends.

When you are a kid it’s easy, friendships are built into your life. But as an adult, it is like a chore that you always put off. You know it will make you feel better to do it, and the results are always satisfying, but you can’t bring yourself to do the work.

These are not new concepts, but here are some of the ways I have learned to make friends as a transient couple (moving every 6 months- 2 years.)

Church.

We used to spend time “shopping around” for a church, to find the “perfect fit.” When we moved to Georgia we gave ourselves one month to find our church and stick with it (even if it wasn’t “perfect.”) This strategy was a lifesaver. Cutting out the shopping piece, we were able to dive into community right away.

Bible Study or Supper Club

Through our church we found a wonderful bible study. This supper club is always a highlight in our week. Our friendships in this group have grown so deeply in such a short period of time.

Volunteer

We jumped into volunteering in the children’s ministry at church. We also volunteered with a homeless ministry where we met some wonderful people as well. If we were staying here longer I would have linked up with the dog shelter, and the Ronald McDonald House. Also- the library is a great place to volunteer.

Coffee Group

I really wanted some girlfriends in Georgia. I started a “coffee group” with some women I met through J’s work, and it has been so good for the soul. We meet weekly, and it’s so nice to have a group of women to chat with regularly.

Open up your home

Opening up our home, hosting regular dinners (which always take up all of my introverted energy,) has been a great way to get to know people better. We make it a point to invite people over at least once a week (sometimes 3 times a week!) I love to cook, it is always fun to share my food with others.

Meetup App, Facebook groups, & Groupon

I have not found much success with Meetup in Columbus, but I know that it can be SUCH a great way of connecting with people outside of your regular circle. I have used Facebook Marketplace to sell some items, and then made friends through it! When I lived in Greensboro, I used Groupon ALL THE TIME to try out new classes (yoga, Krav Mega, Cooking, etc) That is another great way to meet people.

Join the Y (or a activity class)

The y has so many classes, and people are regulars there. It is great for meeting people. The hard part is asking them to do something outside of the gym. This is where “making friends as an adult” gets difficult. You have to put in the social work, which can be intimidating. Usually I just start up a conversation, and see if the person would like to get coffee sometime.

Start a Google Hangout Group

I started an entrepreneurs online group, and we meet once a week. We all live in different states, but are all artists and freelancers. Our meetings are a highlight in my week, helps me with accountability in my work, and allows for me to hear from other creatives. I can’t tell you how much I love this group!

Check out your local library

Libraries have lectures, free classes, board game clubs, etc for FREE. We are at our library all the time. (Not to mention we use the library as our version of blockbuster, always checking out movies.)

And finally…

Get out of the house

Making friends as an adult can be really hard. Especially when you are new to a place. Typically we make friends at work, school, a class, church, or a regular activity. The people that you make friends with will more than likely be similar to you. If you want to makes friends that see the world differently than you, expand your circle, and diversify it, you have to step out of your routines and your comfort level.

 

 

-Abigail.

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Him and Her. Life and Narrative. Married, partnered, friends. Simple and sweet. The ups and downs together. Be kind, be caring, be loving. A theatre artist and a military officer. Living in Georgia, often long distance. We explore, we write, we share. We love to travel, eat, listen to music, try new things, be present each day, and live a minimal lifestyle.

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